My parent’s horse, Folzar, was sick and, since I was the horse-sitter, it was my responsibility to tend to her. The vet gave me medicine to give her which seemed easy enough, but Folzar had other ideas. You see, the medicine was apple flavored and Folzar was a horse that hated apples—a fact of which I was uninformed. So there I was, trying to force apple flavored medicine down a horse that was determined not to take it. She was bigger than me. Much bigger. I would grab hold of her halter and try to quickly insert the medicine and she would jerk her head and toss me about like a rag doll. Needless to say, it did not go well. I even enlisted the help of my brother, who was a fairly large man. He fared no better. She jerked and reared and pulled him off his feet just as easily as she had me. For a sick horse she was very determined. In the end, it was a matter of waiting her out. Once she had exhausted her strength, she would stand quivering, unable to fight more. “Are you done yet?” I asked as I stuffed the medicine in her mouth. Then, fixing me with an evil eye, she would do her best to spit it out. All this struggle against something that was meant to ease her suffering and save her life.
I have seen children do the same thing. They are sick and suffering, yet when a solution is offered, they cry and fret and refuse to take the remedy. How often, as adults, do we, too, struggle against what may be best for us? Change is a medicine that is especially hard for me to take. I kick and scream against it, clawing to hang on to what is familiar and seemingly safe. Then, in my heart I hear the words, “Are you done yet?” It is then that I have to still my soul and realize that this change may be my apple medicine and I may be fighting the very thing that will bring me growth, wisdom and healing.